“I couldn’t believe it when my doctor told me I had epilepsy. That was something that happened to other people. Not me.
I was told to go home and start taking medicine, which might make me feel tired, get headaches and put on weight. And there were no guarantees it would even work!
I had to get used to the fact I couldn’t drive, I might lose my job and I could be stuck with this for the rest of my life.
Shock doesn’t even start to describe how I was feeling. And it took me about a month to tell my children I had epilepsy. For some strange reason, I felt ashamed of the fact.
My seizures were so exhausting that sometimes I was too poorly to get out of bed for a few days. I have had periods of depression – probably due to my medicines, my seizures and my frustration.
It did take quite some time, but I started to accept my epilepsy. I have realised that I might have epilepsy, but I’m still me. I had to make some changes – I never have a bath unless my husband sits in the bathroom with me. We have some really interesting chats!
It took a while to get used to not jumping in the car whenever I wanted. My husband has been a great chauffeur, but to be honest, when it’s been possible, I’ve started walking everywhere. In fact, I’ve gone down a dress size and I love being in the fresh air.
I also spoke to my GP about the depression. She was brilliant and enrolled me on an online course that is teaching me new ways to manage it.
I’m learning that I can cope with this. My seizures are still not controlled, but I’ve recently increased my carabamazepine, and signs so far look good.